Want exclusive access to Lotteland? Get my secret love letters every week and find out what's REALLY going on!

New title

Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Google Plus
Instagram

Breaking News

50 Flares Facebook 47 Twitter 2 Email -- Google+ 1 Pin It Share 0 50 Flares ×

Latest news from Lotteland:

I’M IN THE FINANCIAL SHIT.

BIG TIME.  

Regular readers may remember that late last year I discovered my house is falling down.

my house is falling down

Since then, the hubster and I have been trying to drum up the finance to fix it, because although our lovely tarpaulin roof is doing a sterling job of keeping out the rain, it’s not doing so well with the mould and worms (yes, there are WORMS dropping through our kitchen ceiling).

Builder said it would probably last til May before things started collapsing.

BS4's Worm, Snail and Spider Refuge
BS4’s Worm, Snail and Spider Refuge

But then, on Tuesday, A BIG PILE OF SHIT HIT MANY MANY FANS.

We learnt that the bank can not loan us the money to finance our renovations as we are a) both self-employed and therefore, b) useless wastrels.

On hearing this news I spun out into full-on I hate myself I ruin everything THIS IS ALL MY FAULT thinking.  We are £10k short of a new roof, and I figured because it was me that decided to quit my safe job to be a “writer”, it was me who had brought doom upon my family.  The megaguilt I have about my crappy financial past reared its giant ugly head shoulders knees and toes again and I wailed prostrate on the floor.  I HAVE LITERALLY TAKEN THE ROOF FROM MY FAMILY’S HEAD. I DESERVE MISERY. EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE AND IT’S ALL MY FAULT.

Sad lotte

The next day, when I was taking a tree-hugging walk in the woods, I realised that this kind of thinking WASN’T FUCKING HELPFUL.

The ridiculous optimist in me came out to play and cried “What Ho Lotte, Chin Up Old Girl.  Let’s make this a GAME!”.

And I like games, and I like being happy, so I decided that I was going to try and make my dire financial straits FUN.  And lo, £10k by May was born.

banner
Over the next couple of months I’m going to do my dilly-darnedness to find £10k to rebuild my house WITHOUT help from the bank.

I have NO FUCKING IDEA how I’m going to do this (it doesn’t sound possible right?) but the intention has been set, and now I’m going to work my tits off and employ every woowoo trick in the book to try and make it happen.

And of course, because I like to share every piece of dirty washing in my laundry bag (and every single skeleton in my closet) I’ll be keeping my lovely readers updated.  Here’s how funds are looking as I write this…

Roof thermometer 22.3

To get that mercury a’ risin’, I’m gonna need all the help I can get.

If you want to show your support (and you do, right?), click here to see how you can help me make £10k by May.

Thank you, love you xxx

4 thoughts on “Breaking News
  1. Have you read get rich, lucky bitch? I found loads of help in there for getting the money stuff sorted, setting goals and making things happen. Wishing you tons of good luck!

    • Yes! Twice and I think it might be worth a revisit. First time I was all like ‘this is all nonsense’, second time I was ‘well, maybeee’ and now I’m fully signed up woo woo! Thank you! x

  2. Pingback: Why pooing my pants made me realise I want to be a drag queen | Lotte Lane

  3. Pingback: Why pooing my pants made me realise I want to be a drag queen | The Cocktail Hour

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

1,884 Spambots Blocked by Simple Comments

HTML tags are not allowed.

50 Flares Facebook 47 Twitter 2 Email -- Google+ 1 Pin It Share 0 50 Flares ×
%d bloggers like this: