Lotte Lane

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Dealing With Shit

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There’s some horrible stuff going on in the world right now.  An idle twiddle on Facebook ends up depressing me.  The newspaper, the radio, my friends: they all tell me tales of horror and woe.  Gaza. Cancer. Death. Divorce. Lives falling apart, bodies caving in.

It’s so easy to scroll through it all, and get overwhelmed by misery, hopelessness, despair.
To take doomful notes (I’m part of a race of base, violent beings) and paint mindscapes of black bleak unspeakable things.

I’m a sensitive flower.  When bad news comes I feel have but two choices: ignore (oh gosh that is sad but I’m not going to let myself actually FEEL that sadness right now because I don’t want to ruin my day) or implode (HUMANITY IS FUCKED, HOW CAN I EVEN GO ON WITH SUCH HATRED AND VIOLENCE AND ANGER RICHOCHETING ALL AROUND ME, LIFE IS COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS).

I need a third option.

I want to be able to DEAL with the shit: to acknowledge it, really feel it and then MOVE ON from it; all the more determined to live a good life, take positive action, balance out the epic sea of turd with a little bit of sunshine.

dealing with shit

I know how lucky I am: I don’t live in a warzone, I’m not riddled with disease, I love and I am loved.

I want to celebrate that, not feel bad about it.

I want to do what I want do while I’m fortunate enough to be able to do it.

I want to make a difference. I need to deal with shit.

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Comments (10)

  1. Joanna Hennon

    Ha ha, I’m the same! I always choose the ignore options, otherwise I end up totally depressed about the state of the world. I’m ended up completely unaware of what’s going on out there – I kind of figure that if it’s something big then someone will tell me. 🙂

    1. Lotte (Post author)

      Glad I’m not the only ignorer out there! x

  2. Faye

    Bird I know what you mean but because we care about dreadful things like the kids being hurt or worse in war does not mean we should feel guilty for our life or how we are feeling. As you say it could be all too easy to become consumed by all the horror if anything I think it’s making me realises just how lucky I am and making me want to cherish the special moments with friends, family and life that I am lucky to have. I care that others are suffering and if I can make a difference signing petitions or ensuring ignorant people know what’s going on I will but I and you can only do so much. Whatever we do is better than doing nothing and no one should feel guilty for trying to live their life and enjoy the happy times they can. I’ve had a few things of late affect me and if anything it had made me even more determined to live my life the way I want to and not to waste it on negative feelings or people.
    You’re a special chick and the fact you care is part of your awesomeness so don’t feel bad for it xxx

    1. Lotte (Post author)

      you’re a wise bird Faye, did you know that?
      Thank you for your support as ever xxx

  3. Charlie

    I honestly think it is one of life’s missions for us all – to work out how to deal with shit. I’ve been to therapy, CBT, opened up to friends; but I always come away and say “that’s great to find the issue, focus on it and know it better HOW do I actually deal with that?!”

    I too have first world guilt about I my issues in relation to
    Those of a child in Darfur for example but it’s all relative to your personal experience and your mental and biological make up.

    Telling yourself you shouldn’t be sad about something because other people have it worse is like telling someone not to be happy because other people have it better.

    I have huge guilt that the most sane and grounded and at peace I have ever been in my life is when I sat by my dad’s hospital bed as he was on life support. Awful to admit but on once the shit entered my realm of understanding, i knew exactly how to deal with it. Worrying about shit that you can’t physically feel for yourself will never yield great satisfaction I am afraid. All you can do is keep being awesome for others and living an authentic existence for yourself.

    1. Lotte (Post author)

      Thank you Charlie for taking the time to reply. Couple of genius points there: particularly like your point about telling other people not to be happy!

      I will just carry on being awesome, as you suggest 😉


  4. Jo

    Yep, I get this too and struggle to know how to deal with it. I veer from completely ignoring things to attempting to face them and ending up in a useless puddle on the floor. It’s really good to know there are other people who get that too, and I guess if there are enough people who feel this way then we can’t be such a terrible race, just one where the violent people have too much power.

    1. Karen J

      Yes, Jo!!
      The “violent people with too much power” are scared shitless that things are changing – too much and too fast – around them, and they have no idea how else to deal with it besides exercizing what “Power Over” they do have.
      Too much “It’s always been done this way” and “You can’t talk to people who disagree with you”…
      and Yep, all *we* can do is show a different way to work with what is.

      “When presented with two choices, find a third way” ~ ‘Wulf Khan

      Blessings to you ~

      1. Lotte (Post author)

        I love that quote!

    2. Lotte (Post author)

      …or indeed where people value power over life… *sigh*

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