Lotte Lane

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The most important piece of advice a new mama needs to hear (contains swearing)

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Chill the fuck out.

Birth story not the glorious glowy lovefest you had hoped it would be (Sunroof? Salad tongs? Shat in the street in front of your neighbours?). That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

Disinterested or even *whispers* slightly repelled when first spy your offspring? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

well, hello beautiful ALIEN BABY

Disgusted by that first meconium poo – not to mention the endless flood of blood flowing forth from you? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

Resentful that the hordes of visitors are infinitely more interested in the baby than you, even though YOU’RE THE ONE THAT DID THE AGONY? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

Having a horrible time trying to breastfeed? Tits bleeding? Breastapo giving you grief? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

Dribbling hormonal mess that sobs all afternoon sloshing tears on baby’s face? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.
Subsisting on a diet of hob-nobs, tea and takeaway? And maybe a teeny spot of gin? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.  

Baby crying and you don’t know why?  That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

Baby still crying and you consider throwing it out of window?  That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

Baby STILL crying and you’ve stopped caring altogether? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

The most important thing a new mum needs to hear
Completely and utterly preoccupied by your baby’s shitty sleepThat’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

Forgot to take photos of those precious first smiles? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

Failed to take baby bag when you leave the house, and end up covering the aisles of Asda with swathes of baby poo? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

Much less together than every other mother you’ve ever met ever? Especially that snotty cow with the perfectly organised Cath Kidston oilskin babybag? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.

Accidentally pour tea on your child in a sleep-deprived moment of stupidity? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother.


Can’t be arsed to take baby to Rhyme and Sign? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother. 

Checking Facebook behind baby’s back while you’re doing night feeds? That’s OK. You’re still a good mother. 

Dress your baby up like a gangster for your own amusement?  That’s OK. You’re still a good mother. 


I could go on. AND ON.  But you get the drift.

However you are doing, you are doing just fine.

Motherhood is a big crazy ride – in the words of my wise big sis “a rollercoaster you can NEVER get off”.  You’re in this for the long haul and you are just at the beginning.

It gets easier.

And it also gets harder.

But you will get through nonetheless. 

Chill the fuck out, mama.

Stop wasting your precious moments with your snot faced poo machine. Obsessing, hand-wringing and beating yourself up achieves jack shit.  

And you’re doing great.

You’re a wonderful mother, just as you are.


Being a first-time mama is an amazing experience. The New Mama Welcome Pack blog hop is a celebration of this life changing event! Follow the links to discover more unmissable advice, stories and essential tips. And if you’re a new mama who wants to rock motherhood without guilt, overwhelm or losing yourself, check out the New Mama Welcome Pack here.

New Mama Welcome Pack / Lotte Lane / Dreaming Aloud / Birthing in Conscious Choice / Natalie Garay / Knecht Ruprecht / Lise Meijer / Naomi Goodlet / A Lifestyle By Design / Story of Mum / Like a Bird / Holistic Mama / Birth Geek / Joyful Parenting / Stroller Packing / My Healthy Beginning / Mums and More / Kate Beddow – Growing Spirits / Ellen Nightingale / Stacie Whitney / Maternity Leavers / Photography for Busy Parents / Close Enough To Kiss / Atelier Susana Tavares / Offbeat Family / Katie m. Berggren ~ Painting Motherhood / Winship Wellness Blog / Liberate From Weight / Jessica Cary / Raising Playful Tots / Peaceful Mothering / Play Activities / Lauren Nenna / The Adventure Mama / Be Wise Be Healthy / Doula in Your Pocket / Making Mom Strong / Adrienn Csoknyay / Joyful Parents / Simple Solutions for Photos / Lynne Newman / Mumpreneur Mentor / A Walk in the Clouds / Parenting on the Fence / MiaMily

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Comments (13)

  1. Kendra

    So true!
    My post for the blog hop is similar and the advice I give to all my new mama friends, this is hars as hell but it’s all going to be okay

  2. winshipwellness

    Thanks for the reminder, Lotte! + Gangsta baby is adorable!


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  8. Hannah D

    I love this! Simple, yet so important for mamas to hear!

  9. Naomi

    Yes! I loved this. In fact my blog hop post was very similar
    Mother-guilt never did anything good for anyone – I agree with you. Chilling out is the best way!

  10. Kathy White

    Hi Lotte, great post – yes always a good mother – that’s how to stay joyful ! blog hop over to for 7 more tips on how to stay joyful in the face of all the overwhelm ! thanks Kathy

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