Lotte Lane

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Having informed the Universe that I’m going to write a book, I’m now thinking I should really get on and write it.

I’ve actually been thinking this for a few weeks… for the whole of January, I’ve been thinking about writing the book REALLY HARD.  REALLY REALLY HARD. But sadly the “thinking” about writing has not been accompanied by actual “putting some words on a page” writing.

Instead I’ve been doing all sorts of other wonderful things. Some useful; most completely-fucking-pointless.

Le Sigh.

The problem is, I’m a procrastinator.  A big one.  If there were a procrastination pageant, I’m pretty sure I’d be placed: I’m that proficient at not-doing-what-I’m-meant-to-be-doing but actually-doing-significantly-less-useful-shit instead.

Urgent report? I SPIT on your urgent report!  I BE A PIRATE!!

Urgent report? I SPIT on your urgent report! I BE A PIRATE!!

My latest dose of procrastinitis is slightly unusual in that I’m procrastinating about getting on and doing something I actually want to do, rather than just yer standard run-of-the-mill boresome task.

A light navel-gaze tells me that my reluctance to knuckle down to the writing is probably due to fear. YEP.

But I’m not really in the mood to address that now: FAAAAARRR too productive.

So instead, I’m gonna share some gems I found on t’internet.  Ladies and Gents, I present to you:

top three

1. PROCRASTINATOR!!!! (Updated, Like, A Million Times Probably) 

A vintage post, written by my actual favouritest writer in the world, Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half.


I have a mug with a picture from this blog on it, it’s that good.  What picture? JUST THIS PICTURE:

procrastinator award

2.  Why Procrastinators Procrastinate

A really rather clever scientific insight into WHY we procrastinators procrastinate.

Apparently, it’s the fault of our Inner Instant Gratification Monkey. He looks like this:

IGM RDM interacting 2

(Note: there is a part two to this post, on How to Beat Procrastination.  I’ve been meaning to follow the advice in this post but, urrr, not quite got round to it yet…).

3. A Field Guide to Procrastinators

A recent, and rather brilliant discovery.  


I am a black belt in 8 of these 12 types of procrastination (and decently graded for the rest), which makes choosing which mug to buy myself a difficult decision (yes, zoop zoop more procastination mugs!) .

If you’re reading this while procrastinating too, tell me: what kind of procrastinator are you?

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Comments (19)

  1. Julia Chapman

    There should be gradings and competitions for this stuff – the art of procrastination – I’m a master too – definitely of the let’s go off and look at interesting stuff on the internet ilk.

    1. Lotte

      But seriously, I’ve learnt so much from my Internet adventuring! So it’s gotta be worthwhile, right?

  2. jenny

    oh lotte! I can do all of these apart from delegating (no body to delegate to) and watching tv (that’s ‘just lazy’ not like the rest of these important activities. Yes I am so doing it right now. add commenting on lovely blogs about procrastination to the list would you?

  3. Moi

    We’ll I’m procrastinating over what the hell I want to do with my career…..frightened of jumping out of the chip pan into the fire but also know I need to change to be happier and get a better work life balence and maybe have time to meet the man of my dreams and have a good job and be able to pay the mortgage…..been procrastinating for three months….have decorated two bedrooms, read a number if books done a Reiki course to help find myself but am still shit scared of ending up in another position working all the hours god sends and being mega unhappy….so Lotte my dear friend you are not alone I know exactly how you feel!! x

    1. Lotte

      Oh darling heart. You know what my advice would be: feel the fear and do it anyway! But I’m the irresponsible type innit. x

  4. Jenny

    I’ve chosen to spend all day procrastinating to see what comes up. Like some productivity might come up if I force myself to procrastinate. I live in hope.

    1. Nina

      I love that Jenny, procrastinating to see what comes up 🙂

      1. Sanjay

        I’m dusguising my current procrastination under the guise of leaving a useful comment!

    2. Lotte

      How did that pan out then Jenny? Genuinely intrigued…

  5. Nina

    Well I came across this while browsing Facebook because I was procrastinating on getting back to a work task. That may say it all. I do also love making lists. And shiny new distracting things……

    1. Lotte

      I do love a list making session. Sometimes I put things I’ve already done on my lists, just so I get the pleasure of crossing them off again. I wonder if that’s normal?

  6. Gemma Regalado

    I have quite LITERALLY just spent the last hour and fourty-two minutes listening to a most incredible recording of an event that happened last week by James Clear on building our habits (I was actually designing at the same time – most bizarre, as I too, have been a HORRENDOUS procrastinator in my time).

    One of the things he said is that we all focus too much on the super-sexy end goal (e.g. have a business making 1 MILLION DOLLARS *puts pinkie to corner of mouth*), and don’t put in the significantly UNsexy Actual Work (e.g. calling one client a day, writing one blog post per week, submitting our tax return on April 6th at 4pm). In essence, having a goal is great, but we need to make tiny actions daily to achieve them.

    Basically show up, the same time every day (or week, or whenever), create the intention to continue it (sign yourself a contract or whatever) and do something for even a few minutes (doing something, even if that means calling one client instead of five) and have a schedule to get back on track for the days when shit happens (and shit, being shit n’ all, invariably does happen)

    Oh, and I fall into about 80% of the procrastination types in that last article… Shit.

    1. Lotte

      Pretty fucking excellent advice there Gem. Might even heed it.

  7. Kerry

    Nah…I never procrastinate me, my trawling through the t’interwebs is all just carefully planned research for a um thingy I’m developing, top secret, hush, hush of course. In fact as a naturally inquisitive and easily fascinated person, I’m just playing to my strengths. Really.


    Anyway, I’ve a great picture to show you on Procrastination which you’ll love, I’ll post it up later… 😉

    1. Lotte

      Ooooh can’t wait!

  8. Sam Dounis

    When it comes to writing, people seriously underestimate the importance of thinking! 😉 I’ve found The Big Leap useful in understanding why I procrastinate doing something I enjoy. I think the thing with the book is to write the shitty first draft and take it from there. When there are no expectations attached to it, it is a bit easier to get on paper. 🙂

    1. Lotte

      Thanks Sam. I do tend to edit as I go along, which makes shitty first draft harder (but by no means impossible). I so just need to START… and I will, next week (!!!)

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